Happy & Free: Juggling Creative Passion, Mindset, and Parenting with Lana Crow

Did having kids put your ambition on pause? In this episode of The Parent Tap, host Ryan McDonough sits down with British singer-songwriter Lana Crow to discuss what happens when you decide to pursue your creative passion after starting a family. 

Lana opens up about being classically trained from age five, leaving music behind after a severe health collapse, and eventually rediscovering her voice to build an independent music career while raising two kids. We dive into how parenting rewires your worldview, how to slow down and create freedom in your daily routine, practical ways to manage boundaries around work and family time, and why honoring your own passions ultimately makes you a more present, happier parent for your children.

Connect with Lana Crow:

• Official Website: lanacrowmusic.com
• Listen to Lana's Music: Find Lana Crow on Spotify, Apple Music, and Bandcamp.
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@LanaCrow
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lanacrowmusic/

Music Credits:

• Featured track: "You Can Run" by Lana Crow. Used with full permission and agreement by the artist.

Transcript

– Intro: Did Having Kids Kill My Ambition?

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Every working parent quietly wonders the same thing. Did having kids kill my ambition? We don't say it out loud, because saying it feels like we're admitting we failed. We look at the career we used to be building, the thing we used to be good at, and we tell ourselves that ship sailed. Today's guest is the proof that it didn't. Lana Crow is a British singer-songwriter who was trained on the piano from age five, got knocked out of the game by a serious health collapse, and then did something most parents wouldn't dare. She came back after she had her kids and built an award-nominated independent music career in four years flat, all while raising a daughter and a son. Her kids didn't end her career. One of them started her next album with a single question. We're going to talk about what she gave up to make it work and what she'd tell any parent who thinks the music stopped when the kid

– Writing "Out of This World" for Her Kids

SPEAKER_02 0:45

started. Your daughter. She asked you to write a song about her and her brother. And that single question turned into out of this world.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

So walk us through that moment and why it felt so hard to break the pop music is for love songs, not kids' role that you used to have.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

No, it's a shame, isn't it? Because I mean, I hope all of us experience you don't have to have your own child, but we all, I think every human strives to have somebody to care for. And I think children are kind of a necessity to bring the best out of us. I know not all families are perfect, but as we get older especially, we appreciate having children a lot more, I guess. So yeah, it's a shame we don't sing enough about it because it actually can create some really cool songs. And when she asked that, I and I'll be honest, and I was honest with her, so she put me on a spot there. Because when she asked, I don't lie, I try not to lie to my children. So my approach is we all have flaws, and you have to be honest about your flaws. And the thing is, I I think as humans, we we have ideas about ourselves. It's we have an idea, and it it can be quite distant of who you really are. So I listened to them when when they say I'm doing something, I never I never deny it, even though it may be unpleasant. So when she asked me, I did have to think about it. And I had to be honest with her. I said, look, I kind of tried to write a song about you, and then I just put it on the shelf. And and I said, But look, I will continue. I will I will go back to it, I will go back to my draft, and you will get your song. And I'm pleased she did that, you know, because actually I really like this song. And it's something that I hope will stay with them for forever. I hope, you know. They were happy with it. So I the process was quite funny because my idea was to say, you know, for it to be like eternal kind of, or you, I love you, and you're always gonna be precious. And my big thing is we're all precious, every human being, is is just irreplaceable. And I think the problem why so many of us feel like we underperform is because we don't realize how important we are. Each single person has a greatest potential, and I'm trying to teach them that. So I was so pleased that I could put it in a song, and it's something that's gonna hopefully maybe through hard times, it's gonna remind them, you know, that you you matter.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

Yeah, that's an amazing story. And I love that you're leaving that, you know, that song for your kids, like where they can always kind of put that on and be, you know, assured that mom loves them and they matter and all that, because it's like I feel like I'm trying to instill that into my kids. They're two and five. So I try to instill that into them every day. But I don't, I'm not mis I'm not musically talented. I'm not like, you know, like they're not they're not watching the podcast. So it's like I feel like I I don't have that ability to kind of leave them something, at least at this stage. Maybe when they get older, you know, some of this stuff will take off and they'll they'll be like, oh, dad's on TV or whatever. But for now, they're not I'm not I'm not doing that. So that's gotta be a really cool feeling. And so you grew up from what I've when I've gathered from age five, you started to like be you were classically trained on the piano at age five in in Kog Kazakhstan.

– Classical Piano Training, Health Collapse, and Walking Away

SPEAKER_02 3:54

Am I saying that right?

SPEAKER_00 3:55

Yeah, yeah, correct. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:57

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

So you you Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:59

No, go ahead. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_00 4:01

So so it was my granddad who insisted that I should study music. And when I hit my really like I had so many health problems, then I ended up in the hospital. I guess for me it was I I was a top performer in a music school and at school, right? And then and my parents were quite demanding that that was, you know, that I had to be a top performer. And then it was when I came back, when I was out of the hospital and all the sanatoriums that followed. So after a two-year break, I think, I go back to the music school and I'm sitting in that class and I'm I I can see I'm behind, you know, I'm not I'm not doing well. And the teacher at the end of the lesson, she she just took me aside and she said, Look, you can stay a year behind. And I was too proud, you know. But I had a lot of pride in me, and I was like, No, I'm not, I'm not staying a year behind. And that was it for me. Would I have uh continued if if there wasn't a health issue? I had lots of duties. When my sister was born, I was 13. I had I be I had to become her mother. I don't think I would have continued anyway, and it was it it it was I was fine with that. I felt like that's okay. I I was happy to get my keyboard when I moved to Europe. So we all moved to Germany first, and it was my grandma as well, my whole family. And my grandma bought me the keyboard and was like, yeah, it felt good, you know, to have it there. So I would listen to a song and I would try to play it on the keyboard. And uh but that died out quite soon by still like having it there until one day I just had this dream with this with a tune, and then and then yeah, I was kind of prompted to to start writing songs. Never did before.

SPEAKER_02 5:42

That's that's so cool. You you mentioned you alluded to this a little bit, how kids believe in themselves more. They they have kind of a different worldview than us. So, what's one thing that your kids, you know, how they think that that rewired your songwriting, rewired your parenting, you know, given given that, you know, again, kids think differently than

– How Parenting Rewired Her Songwriting and Worldview

SPEAKER_02 6:01

adults.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

Yeah. I think just paying attention to what they say, to how they think is a very important part of it. And for me, that was I think my children are smarter than me. So I find they say lots of useful things which I uh yeah, which I kind of failed to observe. I'm not an observant person. And uh I'm just trying to sorry, what was the question again? I lost my thoughts.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

Yeah, no, just like the worldview of like how your the influence of your kids on you, like how they've changed your worldview, your songwriting, all of that. Because I feel like as adults we get kind of cynical and and jaded, and you know, we get in this like routine of we gotta do this, we gotta do that, we gotta do this. But but kids like, you know, and I have two myself, and it's just like this, they've they've opened up my perspective on the world. And so I'm just curious how they've they've changed your perspective on the world as a parent and as a songwriter.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

Yeah, that's a big one, actually. I understand now why I why I couldn't gather my thoughts. Yeah, so sorry.

SPEAKER_02 6:56

I I asked the question poorly.

SPEAKER_00 6:58

No, no, no, no, it's it's a perfect question, but I guess it kind of triggered me a little bit. So I was my self-esteem was terrible for a very long time, for most of my life, really. And and that that had to do with my upbringing and my the the way my I was parented. So when my children were born, they obviously children worship you, don't they? You you are you're their everything. And I I don't think we always realize that, but they forgive us, they forgive our mistakes. And I think we kind of have to we as parents forget like how much we mean to them. I know they can be mean, like my children. I at that age, my daughter is 12, you know. But they they really worship you deep down inside. So for me, when you see that, and you're like, oh my goodness, it just gives you that perspective that wow, you're really important to somebody. And so for me, that was, and I remember I had a holiday with my parents, and you know, something like would come out from my from my mom would be, who are you? And that was the after my son was born, that was the first time when I felt like, yeah, I am somebody, hello. And now that was massive. So this is the biggest one, and I guess, you know, when you when you ask that question, it's like it triggered that kind of, you know, not not a very pleasant memory in me. But that was a big one, and I think we have to we have to milk it in. It's something that nobody else can give us, only our kids. And they can they can hurt us as well, you know, absolutely. But then they also help you kind of learn about yourself. Because I think for us, the more distant our idea of ourselves from the reality, the more we hurt and the more we suffer. It's it's a big one. And I think every unfortunate event that happens in our life, it tries to tell you, tries to show you something. And uh until you start approaching every unhappy event with like, okay, what I what are you doing for me? What are you trying to show me? I don't think we will know, you know, what is who we are really. And I'm teaching the kids as well. I'm teaching that to them, and and uh it's it's really, really useful to have that kind of perspective because I'll give you an example with my child. So she was she felt like she had uh these friendships with people who didn't appreciate

– Teaching Emotional Resilience and Self-Worth to Children

SPEAKER_00 9:17

her. And I ask her, Have you ever experienced that feeling before where your friend doesn't appreciate you? I I need you to think about it. She sat down, it took her about three minutes or so. And she goes, Well, when I was very little in reception, there was this friend who really, really, I really, really liked her, and she really liked me. And then there's this mean girl, you know, in the child world, it's all very, very simple. Mean mean good. So this mean girl comes up and she says, she hugs my friend in front of me and she says, She's with me now. I'm like, okay, how did that make you feel? And she goes, really, really sad, it really hurt a lot. I'm like, that that's it. You know, she believed it. And the thing is, the the kids they soak it in, don't they? And that's why to be a good parent, you you start with yourself. So I'm like, okay, try to try to remember the whole thing over and over again. I need you to have that feeling, breathe and remember the feeling. And I could see, like, as she was remembering it, it was hurting. And then I said, Okay, now I need you to be honest with yourself. Do you think that girl said the truth? What she said was true. So she took a minute. No, I'm not sure she said the truth. She said she told me truth. And I'm okay. So just remember that. And you know what? Her friendship's changed. I'm not joking. It's it's something that happens to us in our childhood, a lot of those things, which just kind of programs you in a way. And you can, if you look at something that's you know, some some recurring, unfortunate event, just or the same type of people that you really don't like, they keep coming at you and like, okay, why? Why why do you why do you keep knocking on the door? There's something you try to tell me, and yeah, so so they told me a lot. I'm teaching them, they're teaching me.

SPEAKER_02 11:10

Yeah, that that is how it is, right? And so one of your songs, you know, you mentioned being happy and free. And so why is that like the why is that your ultimate goal? Because it seems like so many parents, it's like busy, successful, money, you know, wealth, that kind of thing. So why is happy and free like the ultimate like target for you and and for your kids?

– The "Happy & Free" Mindset and Creating Time

SPEAKER_02 11:32

You want to just explain that a little bit more on your worldview?

SPEAKER_00 11:34

You know, it might sound like a crazy one, but I do believe if you have, if you enjoy what you already have, you're gonna generate more things. You do you know what when I when I got that mindset? It was a long journey, I promise you. But when I got that mindset, things just became easier. And you know, people say you generate with your thoughts. I believe it. I believe it because I've experienced it myself. I I've come that from from being down at the bottom, you know, hating myself, to somewhere where and I didn't have the voice. So when I when I wrote my first song, I did not have the voice to sing it. Like that that voice in when I was a kid, it was lost. It was lost when I was between seven and eight, and I was like, no, it's not coming back. I didn't believe it would. So, and then I had to go through, and having a child helped a lot. And I had to go through this kind of rediscovering myself, which is, you know, you're not worthless. You can you mean a lot to lots of people, and you can do a lot of good for other people. And so as you learn that, some some things happen and some clues start arriving, and you you learn to become more observant, something that I still struggle with. But you you start noticing things rather than just, and you mentioned we're so busy. Actually, when you slow down and let yourself observe a couple of things, I know it feels like I don't and and I am like that. I was brought up, I I had tasks, I just had to perform everything I had to do, clean the house, do you know, get the best marks, and and so for me it was a big struggle. But when you slow down and you start observing, you create less problems. And eventually, when you create less problems, you gin you generate time, you generate free time. You know what I mean? And I experienced it, it's real, you know, it's real, and that's why they say meditation helps. Does it help me? I I feel like I have to meditate every day because I think it does. The effect is not immediate, but being happier free is okay, you have you're not starving, you're not on the street. Okay, start with that, be grateful for that. And then notice you start noticing more little blessings, and then and then they start arriving a bit more. And eventually you arrive at that mindset where you're just happy every day. I think, I think for me, manually, I kind of had to tweak my first thought in the morning manually. Don't, don't, like, don't be apprehensive, you know. It's it's a beautiful day. It was a manual correction because I would wake up apprehensive, and that's how I would, that's how my days would be really. And then, but then you repeat, it it's it's all repetition as well. So you repeat that praxis, it becomes your second nation, and then you wake up happily, like it it becomes normal. And and guess what? The other things started arriving. I mean, I am I'm no I'm not rich. Financially, I cannot complain. I we are comfortable, we have food on the table, you know, it's the obviously our friends, they I have plenty of friends who have more more money than I than we do. But I just I feel like we don't have to struggle, and that's a big part of your life. And that's that's where you feel the freedom. We are not fighting for the money, and it that this is the biggest freedom. You don't have to be rich. You can be free, but you have the you're imprisoned in your mind that you have to generate more money. But that mindset of freedom where we have enough, and we can allow ourselves free time, interaction, expression of love. Yeah, when you reach that, life, life becomes magical.

SPEAKER_02 15:08

And so I think what you just said is is is truly helping me because it's like I I want to reframe my mind, I want to reframe my thinking, I want to be more happy, more content, happy and free. And so I love I love how you put that in I love how uplifting your music can be.

SPEAKER_00 15:23

Yeah, um, first I would like to note, Ryan, I did not write songs, I did not think I was ever capable of writing songs until two years ago. So when you say I do not have the talent as you do, oh my goodness, I did not think I had the talent. I would actually, you know, any person with the talent, I'm like, I'm I will never be capable of that. And I promise you, I could not write a jingle. So it was very, very sudden, and it's all fully connected to me willing to actually work on my mindset. The influences, I would say, I I grew up with garbage, but the upcoming single is actually going to be very much

– Juggling Client Work, Music Syncs, and Single Parenting

SPEAKER_00 16:03

like garbage.

SPEAKER_02 16:04

I guess my question would be how do you how do you juggle it all? How do you juggle being a mom with two kids? A single mom, right? With two kids, and then you have this career that's that's expanding and blowing up, and then you know, all the stuff that comes with that. How do you manage it all?

SPEAKER_00 16:18

So, and the music doesn't make me money at the moment at all. And so the the producer that I I still don't know. I one day I'm gonna ask him why we he reached out. He he's a Grammy winning producer. So he's now he offered to put me on his sync library, which is massive. I don't know if you've heard about I I didn't hear about him myself, Tristan Boston. So I have to invest into that, and luckily I I did have some shares which are which I'm going to sell and invest into that. So I will be part of his library. So juggling it all, yes. I am running the website part of the of our business, as well as the bookings, as well as doing music, and as well as making websites. It's busy, you know, it is busy, but I and I am going back to that, which is yeah, sounds a bit annoying maybe. But it's unbelievable, Ryan. But the the moment, so for example, wait making a website for a client, it can be tricky. It's it can be quite a journey, depending on the client as well. And I had this particular difficult client reach out to me again. Um, and I took the job because we need the money. And I was, oh my goodness, I don't know if I can cope with that person. I don't know if I have the capacity and the time. And I have to say, it started off before he hired me, he l he literally drained all the juices out of me. So it it was it was but yeah, he hired me eventually. And the start was tricky, but then I I kind of flipped that mindset and I said, Do you know what it's gonna be? It's gonna flow, it's gonna be easy. And I don't know how I did it. And it just happened. I just happened that I'm almost done with that website. And to be honest, it's all about how many problems happen as when when you do something, problems are inevitable and like you there there are always some uh tricky parts in every in every task you do, and but it's just to be honest, I don't have many of them. And it just juggling all these things, all of them together, it actually doesn't feel overwhelming anymore. It's a lot. If if if you if you look at my life from outside, it seems a lot, but actually it's not difficult. And with the kids, they uh they really understand. And I think

– Setting Boundaries and Bedtime Routines

SPEAKER_00 18:37

the way we the the way I kind of handle it with them is look, I need some time to do this, and I will give you that certain amount of time later today. But you have to remind me. I am making it their responsibility to remind me. And I'm putting some responsibilities on them as well because it's gonna help them later in life. Where you have to remind me to stop working on my computer at nine o'clock and they forget. They forget. But when they forget, they don't get time with me before bed, and I blame them. And it's that it's that responsibility. And another funny one is you know, they're they're over 12 years old, but I restarted reading stories to them before bed. And they love it, Ryan. It's it's actually so good for me as well because they actually really like it. I'm reading Harry Potter for them, and it's their precious time with me. And it's another like a bargaining chip for me now, you know. Okay, I need that time, and I'm very clear that okay, this time frame, you have to just let me do this, and I will give you my time later. So it works. There are lots of things, but as soon as I get overwhelmed, and I do get overwhelmed so easily, I stop myself. No, just it's gonna be fine. Enjoy where you are, enjoy the process. And I don't know, just things flow smoother and quicker. They just do it's strange.

SPEAKER_02 19:58

Yeah, yeah, and I love how you put that. And I I would listen to you read Harry Potter, honestly, if you want to do an audiobook, you know, on something like that. You have a great voice. So I'm sure that that's a cool thing to to separate because I I deal with that too, with even just with the podcast of like there's so much, you know, you talk about doing websites, like I'm doing the website, I'm doing the outreach, I'm doing the editing, I'm doing obviously the show. And so it's like a lot comes with it. And that's just one of my projects. I have multiple projects in the in the in the works, and so yeah, I I can lose myself in that. And sometimes it's like I have to take to be a parent, to be a dad, a spouse, all that, all those titles you want to throw in there. You just have to be present for your kids and realize that, like, yeah, you're gonna allocate time for your business and for your for money and all that, but for your kids too, like it's important. And I try to do bedtime stories. My kids aren't that old, so I can't do Harry Potter yet. But I, you know, we do we do the books that they they're interested in, you know, to their age level. My my son, it's like Alma and my daughter, she likes like Dr. Seuss right now, is kind of her thing. So yeah, just trying to tailor it to that. And so uh the last thing I want to elite like or leave with is the parent that's watching or listening right

– Why Keeping Your Passion Alive Makes You a Better Parent

SPEAKER_02 21:06

now, and they stopped they stopped music because they had kids, or they stopped uh whatever their passion was because they had kids. They feel guilty when they sit down playing the piano instead of being present with their kids. What do you say to that person specifically? How do they how do they still keep those hobbies, those passions alive while also being uh, you know, an active, present mother?

SPEAKER_00 21:26

I think when you keep your passion alive, you're also a nicer person around your children. It's that simple. Do it for them, just do it for them. It's you you have no idea how much you change around them when you do something where you actually respect your own desires. You're a nicer person to be around, you are a nicer person to them, and they will appreciate it as well. You know, my children, when I started writing songs, they were you know like, you're not gonna get anywhere. No, not that I was trying to get anywhere, but they had no faith in me.

SPEAKER_02 22:00

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

And yeah, but now they they just they what? This is our mom? What? It's it's not like they are in any shape or form can match any of the, you know, Olivia Rodriga for my daughter, for example. But there is there is a sense in there that that's quite cool that my mom is, you know. She's she's you you Google her name and she appears. It's it's you you you may not achieve that. Not not that you should strive to be on the internet and really, but you just you don't you never know where your road can take you. If you follow your passion, you may be surprised.

SPEAKER_02 22:36

Here's what I need every parent watching this to sit with. Lana didn't get more hours than you. She didn't wait until the kids were older or easier or independent. She made music inside the chaos, and the chaos made the music better. That's the part we never believe until someone proves it to us. So your playbook tonight is simple. You don't need a studio, you don't need a sabbatical, you need a boundary. One protected block a week where you get to be the person you were before the parent became your only title. That's the day one music. Lana's story and her music is worth your full attention. Listen to her on YouTube, support her music, and we'll see you on the next one.